AUGUST MOON, NOYPI EDITION

It is interesting that more Filipinos abroad are more tuned in with the political developments in our country than the Filipinos living IN our country. To my amazement, a traditionally apathetic friend asked me questions about conspiracy theories and term extensions which honestly, I was not aware of.

Friend: Ano yung Oplan August Moon?
Pansitlove: Huh?
Friend: Yung Oplan August Moon nga!
Pansitlove: Hindi ba yan bagong chapter ng Sailormoon?
Friend: Ay ewan ko sayo!

Para hindi naman ako magmukhang tanga at nagtayu-tayo pa ako ng isang socio-political commentary blog, I did some research. Here's what I gathered:

According to the New Philippine Revolution by Patricio Mangubat, Oplan August Moon (apparently not an upcoming chapter of Sailormoon, a popular Japanese manga) is a supposed plot aimed at installing members of the Philippine Military Academy Class 1978 in key positions as part of a scheme to keep the President in power beyond 2010.

OPLAN AUGUST MOON

Keep this monster in power beyond 2010
Ang Ating Mahal na Pangulo Gloria Macapagal "Pikachu" Arroyo (electric, di ba?)









through a self-coup with the help of these monster-members of PMA Class '78:
- 11 generals from the Philippine Army:















- 7 generals from the Philippine Air Force:









- 5 generals from the Philippine Navy and 1 general from the Philippine Marines:








The plan will be implemented after passing House Resolution 1109. It will be qued after the failure of the proposed automated elections handled by the Comelec which was all over the news this morning when Total Information Management Corp. (TIM) informed Comelec that they were withdrawing from their partnership with Dutch firm Smartmatic International citing irreconcilable differences. This failure of the Comelec just shows that the entire thing was a setup, a design to really sabotage the bidding and compromise the elections in May 2010.

These evil people (coz I can't call them sons of bitches and greedy assholes on my blog) will be orchestrating an environment of distress, chaos and confusion, with reports of bombings, attacks on key government officials and members of the media.

WAIT!

Parang deja vu! Hindi ba nangyari na to dati (anak ng sisiw sa loob ng balot ni Mang Roger!!!) kasi parang- napaka pamilyar. Parang katulad siya nito. Shets! Si Apo na lang ba ang Original Prankster dito sa Pinas? Wala ng bang IBA?

Hmmm... Anyway...

Pagkatapos pagmukhaing dekada sitenta ng mga evil people (kasi hindi ko sila pwedeng tawaging mga gahamang anak ng ****ngina sa blog ko) na yan ang Pilipinas, they'll implement Martial Law na for 60 days while Kongresistas will have a field day (60 days) raping our constitution. Elections for the new Parliamentary Government will be in 2010.

Ang saya noh?
(click ninyo ito dahil NAPAKAWALANG KWENTA NI PANSITLOVE magexplain ng tungkol sa Oplan August Moon kaya babasahin ko na lang sa New Philippine Revolution)

Yes, Ang Ating Mahal na Pangulo wants to stay in power way beyond 2010. They say its not gonna happen, I say, "*****na nyo! Manuod nga kayo ng balita sa TV!"

But honestly, I never expected the PGMA or PMGMA fanatics would be this brilliantly relentless and passionate in screwing up our country for their own interest. Ma-Honduras sana kayo!




(all pictures are from pokemon.wikia.com / all characters are created and owned by Satoshi Tajiri)

PISTA NG SAN JUAN IS WATER CONSERVATION DAY

The 24th of June has always been known as a pouring and water-logged day in the City of San Juan (and all of Metro Manila for that matter) for its “Basaan” tradition. Today is the feast of St. John the Baptist at in essence, feeling nating mga Pinoy na binigyan tayo ni San Juan Bautista ng power to do the same thing he did to Jesus and other converts more than two thousand years ago -- children and grown-ups alike line up the streets and generously douse passersby or unsuspecting commuters and visitors with water-- and who would pass the opportunity na makapanggago ng kapwa sa ngalan ng religious celebration. At dahil sa ibang bahagi ng Metro Maynila the only accessible water ways are its drainage systems... go figure. Hahaha!

Anyway, since I am an advocate of water conservation (simula kahapon) I decided to do my part and educate you people on how to conserve water in a wasteful event such as this.

TOP 7 Ways to Conserve Water (so you could use it for BASAAN)

7. Don't water your plants. Let typhoon Feria do what all typhoons are made to do: water our plants. "Bakit hindi na lang yung tubig ulan ang pambasa natin?", you might ask. My answer is, "Eh ang laking ka-cornihan pala niyang iniisip mo eh!"

6. Save the water you used for laundry. Because the water has a lot of detergent in it, you can use the pinaglabahan for Basaan. More fresh clean water to use for your other stuff.

5. Take a bath together with a friend, preferably, yung barkada mo na trip mo at hindi ka sasampalin kung yayain mong sabay kayo maligo sa banyo. By doing so, you'd only use half of the water both of you regularly consume. To maximize the water savings, yakapin mo yung kasama mo while taking a shower. Just remember, don't get too cozy with your friend coz it could get really steamy. Sayang yung tubig. Hahaha! (I get it! The joke is corny)

4. Stand on a batsa while taking a shower. The batsa will catch all the used water from your bath with your libag, sabon and all. You can use this to douse unsuspecting Makati yuppies on their way to work. At least Mr. Coñoboy won't be as pissed when he gets to his office at maalala niya lahat ng nangyari sa kanya during this momentous event. Amoy SafeGuard pa siya.

3. If you have kids, pabayaan niyo ng hindi maligo. Just let your kids out on the streets, that way, your neighbors will be the one to bathe them. It is St. John the Baptist Day anyway. Tipid sa tubig di ba?

2. Save the water you used for cleaning the dishes. Same as laundry water, but tastes like chicken... or pinakbet.

1. Save the water you used for brushing your teeth, kasama yung pinagmumugan ha. I told you, we need to conserve water.(Sabay kindat)


HAPPY SAN JUAN FIESTA EVERYONE!!!




x5ch8zte9n

ANONG KASALANAN NG TV SAYO?

Let's face it, internet age has yet to be a reality in our country. Besides the chismis from Aling Bebe (my favorite pansit and barbeque vendor), the majority of us Filipinos still rely on our trusty TV sets for news, info and entertainment. Hindi lahat ng Pilipino ay excited magkaFacebook. Face lang ni Piolo, Marianne at Ted, solve na sila.

Everything Pinoys need is on TV. Its effect is not as subtle like we think it is. It has a big hand in forming the Filipino Culture as we know it now. It also made a lot of things possible for us --cheer for our world boxing champ when he knocked the hell out of his British opponent, cry together with our favorite soap star when she decided to marry the man who donated a kidney to her lover, give a round of really, really slow clap to our liposucker-turned-pambansang porn star when he appeared in a Senate investigation... Heck! We axed an arrogant jueteng lord for a president and replaced him with Pikachu who's even worse-- That is how powerful TV is. Its not just a simple utility.

So "ano nga naman ang kwenta ng blog na to?" you might ask. My answer is "nothing". This blog would just be my avenue to air my rants and raves about facts wrapped in the edible nature of gossip that I see and hear on TV and how these affect the way I eat and sleep at night.

Anyway,

I think I should install a TV set in the bathroom, kahit na maliit lang. So that way, I will not miss a second of May Bukas Pa, my favorite thing to watch (when I'm not at JT's Manukan in Makati) on a weekday. Its kinda disgusting na kasi when I leave the bathroom door open so I could watch TV from afar while I sit and release all the things my stomach vetoed from lunch. (Siguro naman malinaw na kung bakit ganyan ang titulo ng blog ko.)